I don't need this info!

So, I hate when people keep trying to update me on certain things, when the things have nothing to do with me...
Prime Example:
My coworker hollered "Don't go anywhere" down the cubby hall after me so she could update me on a patient when she got off the phone...
1) your on the phone, with the patient, so why are you yelling
2) where am I supposed to be going, I want some effing coffee, it's not like I'm going to get lost in the kitchen
3) how about your not my mom.... and I'll do what I want.
4) once she told me the info, it had nothing to do with me and she fixed whatever it was (so I didn't even really need to know)

Things like this drive me insane, and it happens multiple times a day. I really don't need to know random details that affect absolutley nothing that I'm doing. Seriously, just stop!

Dude, it's just a joke...

Ok, I hate it when you joking around with some people, and you have that one person who gets all serious and tries to prove you wrong! Dude, it was a joke. I was not being serious. I do not really think someone at work should answer the phone, "China House, can I take your order?" I realize the our phone calls may be recorded (I don't think they are), but I know that it's a possibility. Also, I do not want your life story whilst you explain to me how 'cool' it was when you got to get some random person in trouble via the recorded phone convo you had 5 years ago. I know you mean well, and were just trying to jump into the convo, but really, don't. You stopped the joking. I can't really joke when you are being all serious like. Not fun man!