Mouth Breathing... Make it stop!

Sooo.. I’ve been out for a while, living life, watching movies, getting my heart broken(not recently), and all the random stuff in-between, but today, between a phone call and someone walking by me, I decided it was time to post again… I rise from my ashes to …. you got it, rant again! Somethings I know irritate me, and if I can avoid them, I do. This is something that is out of my control, and COMPLETELY unavoidable at times. It all started this morning when I had to call another department about something. (The something really is not relavent in the least bit, so we’ll skip that part.) I digress… The person who answered, I know well, and also have learned to absolutely dread talking to whether that be in person, or on the phone due to multiple things but the most prominent one is, I can hear this person breathing. I should not be able to hear you breathing during normal conversation. Now at the gym, on the treadmill, when one is exerting oneself, I don’t have an issue with that. On the other hand, if you are chilling at your desk, and haven’t moved in hours(thinking this could be part of the issue, hmmmm?), you should not have labored breathing… EVER. On top of that, don’t be bragging about your workouts and scarring me for life with trying to tell me about you going to the tanning bed, when we all know, you aren’t really working out, AND the thought of you in a tanning bed sweating and breathing heavy whilst laying there… it’s down right disturbing!!!! Please stop over-sharing, please! I beg of you!

Phone Cords

I'm sure everyone knows what a normal office phone looks like. Black, bunch of buttons, hold, voicemail, blah blah blah, about 1.5-2ft cord. Well, my cord is the same cord I've had for 3 years now. Looks brand new. The chick behind me, I can't say that it is or isn't the original cord, but she has it sooooo twisted that she had to pull the phone away form where it sits up to her chin so she can talk on it. I just fixed it for her 2 days ago and it's already jacked up again. Anyway, how does that even happen? I mean a twist now and then, I get that, but I mean it's so twisted, I had to pull it apart... I don't get it. The fact that she is a total spaz, makes it even funnier to watch her answer her phone, with the whole thing coming up to her chin so she has to lean down to talk... Oh if I could only get a pic...

How did that even happen?

So, for the 2nd time in I'd say about 30 days, I've dropped a pen into the toilet(While at work, I don't keep pens on me at home). My first one, it was a gone-er, it fell mid-flush, and I wasn't going after it. Not to mention, the first time it was my most favorite pen ever! This 2nd time that just occurred... well, I was able to save this one... I know, I know... it sounds totally nasty, but I washed and disenfected it, so I think it's good. It was my runner up for fave pen which since the demise of my favorite pen, has risen to #1. Needless to say, I will not be chewing on it, but it's probably cleaner now than any other pen in my possesion..... FML

Lessen I've taken from this? Don't put pens in your scrub top pockets.

Impatient

Soooo... Hell week is finally over! I deem it Hell week for multiple reasons, but being understaffed and expected to train someone, and keep up with all 3 jobs that I as one person was doing is a little much. I've decided that I am simply not cut out to be a trainer of any type. I am way too easily irritated for that. Nothing against the person I was training, she was fine, but damn, I have no freaking pacience at all. In my mind you should just understand what I'm saying... I realize, that is not always the case, but I like my bubble world, and my bubble should not be popped. No interesting head adornments this week though, so who know what Halloween has in store.
On the same not as training/understaffing... If you are aware that the only other person to answer phone calls is in the middle of training someone, how about PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE YOURSELF! You get paid more than double what I make, I think you can answer a damn phone call... just saying. I'm not your assitant and or secratary, so I don't really know what you expected, but unless you want to hire me as a personal assistant, which by the way, I don't think you could possibly pay me enough to put up with you, yea... You have two hands, and a phone at your desk, try ANSWERING it when it rings dumbass!

A crown, really?

So, I wish I could include a picture of this, but unfortunately I don't think it's appropriate. Anywho... here is the story:

So it's appreciation week in my career field, we had a meeting, every one in my department got recognized and and to add a fun spin, they gave us all either glow in the dark wands, or little kid crowns. Now, we donned them for the meeting, then discarded them at our desks when the meeting was over, all save one. One person kept their crown on their disheveld head all day... And drove home to show her parents (she's in her mid 40's by the way). Do you know how hard it is to take someone seriously and talk about work with a plastic crown with pink jewels on it askew on a mini-fro? Well, to answer that it VERY HARD. She was sooooooo proud. I just don't get it!

Ugh...

So, on top of it being a Monday, I have a hole in thr front of the crotch of my pants, and I'm wearing Neon yellow underwear... FML Plus I'm going out tonight... Looks like I'm buying a pair of pants at lunch!

NOXIOUS FREE

So, my desk, like most peoples, I would assume, is a Noxious Smell Free Area (NSFA). If you need to relieve your gas, I would very much appreciate you not doing it whilst walking to and from my desk. When you so rudley crop-dusted me, I was eating, food in my mouth, when I was overcome by the smell of your ass. Yea, you heard me. So next time you want to blast someone with your ass-gas, please don't let it be me, cause I might blow a gasket if you do it again. Just throwing that out there. Who does that... Walk away from people if you have to rip one, not towards me, I'm in a corner, I can't even get away!! And you are walking towards me, so it all hits me in the face, in the corner.. I mean come on! WTF?????

Office Fashion... Windbreakers Oh My!

Let's to a flash back to late 80's, early 90's. I remember back when I was about, oh I don't know 8 years old and I had a kick ass track suite. It was various purples, greens, pinks, with a paisley pattern on the jacket and solid pants in one of the aforementioned colors.

Fast forward:
Well, I saw one of those today. It's been about 17 years since I owned one... and I was 8, but this was a fully grown woman... and it's been almost two decades later... paired with brown dress pants and a lovely teal turtleneck.

I'm really not sure where the horrible 80's store is, but I'm pretty sure my coworkers are keeping it in business. And I'm not talking about the 80's fashion that is coming back, this is all the stuff that should be barried and never, ever brought back...

I don't need this info!

So, I hate when people keep trying to update me on certain things, when the things have nothing to do with me...
Prime Example:
My coworker hollered "Don't go anywhere" down the cubby hall after me so she could update me on a patient when she got off the phone...
1) your on the phone, with the patient, so why are you yelling
2) where am I supposed to be going, I want some effing coffee, it's not like I'm going to get lost in the kitchen
3) how about your not my mom.... and I'll do what I want.
4) once she told me the info, it had nothing to do with me and she fixed whatever it was (so I didn't even really need to know)

Things like this drive me insane, and it happens multiple times a day. I really don't need to know random details that affect absolutley nothing that I'm doing. Seriously, just stop!

Office Attire

I still don't understand why people wear track suits to the office. It's not appropriate at all. To top it off though, the people who wear them, obviously only use them to go to work in, because I can tell you they are def not working out in them, that's for damn sure. Maybe they should wear them to the gym, then they could fit in normal dress pants. But those of you who wear your heels/dress shoes with the track suits I mean, come on? Really? I don't even know what to say about that.

Another thing I can't stand, Turtle necks. I'm not sure why I have such a hatred of them, but I do. I really hate when they are worn under a sweat shirt or a hoody. That makes no sense to me. How cold can your neck really be?

Random Jackets:

So this chick thinks she's badass cause she can ride a horse... Well, no she isn't really a bad ass, just and annoying ass, but her jean jacket today was a little much. I think embroidered jean jackets should be left to old women, or the '80s. Either way, this chick doesn't fall into either category. She's got a dark blue jean jacket on with horse shoes embroidered on the front, and a running horse embroidered on the back, with, to top it all off, a turtle neck underneath it. Where do you even buy something like that?

As far as certain colors go. I believe that after like I don't know, elementry school, you should not, as a woman, be allowed to wear light pink, baby pink, or bubblegum pink. (I do own some random pink shirts, but they are dark pink to magenta) Wearing a baby pink fleece zip up, no. How about just don't do it. It makes me want to sneak over to your desk, after you leave, and make in mysterioulsy disappear. Adults should not wear that color!

Office Fashion

Ok, now I'm not saying that I'm the end all be all when it comes to fashion. I would wear flannel and cowboy boots everyday, yes everyday, if I could get away with it, but I don't because I mean really, I'm not a lumber jack. SO, back to the subject of "Office Fashion". We are a 'Business/Casual' office. The following, I'm pretty sure, comes no where close to Business Casual. I would copy and paste the dress code, but I'm pretty sure we are all on the same page. So here are some offences that quite frankly, make absolutly no sense to me. I wouldn't wear this stuff in public, let alone to the office. I can't even label these people 'Walcreatures' because they would fit right in and wouldn't get noticed at Walmart.

Offense #1) Velour Tracksuits.
For one, Why? I'm serious, Why? I've seen three in two weeks, on three different people. The first one was olive green, with heels, and awesome, strait from the '80s, permed, teased 6" bangs (I could not make this up people). I also saw a purple one, and a brown one. Nothing too crazy on the last two other than the fact that they wore them to the office.

Offense #2) Running/Track Pants
First off, on 'Casual Friday' we are allowed to wear jeans. Not athletic pants, track suits, just jeans. Secondly, it's Thursday, although close to casual Friday, it's not Friday, and even if it was Friday, it's still not work appropriate. This chick is rocking black swishy pants with the stripes down the side. The pants are paired with a nice black turtle neck. At least she wore gymshoes, and not heels? Does that make it better? I personally don't think so.

Dude, it's just a joke...

Ok, I hate it when you joking around with some people, and you have that one person who gets all serious and tries to prove you wrong! Dude, it was a joke. I was not being serious. I do not really think someone at work should answer the phone, "China House, can I take your order?" I realize the our phone calls may be recorded (I don't think they are), but I know that it's a possibility. Also, I do not want your life story whilst you explain to me how 'cool' it was when you got to get some random person in trouble via the recorded phone convo you had 5 years ago. I know you mean well, and were just trying to jump into the convo, but really, don't. You stopped the joking. I can't really joke when you are being all serious like. Not fun man!

That's effing repulsive!

Ok people. As girls, yes, I am aware we all get our monthly gift from mother nature. I understand. And you know what? If you want to get nasty period blood all over the toilet seat at home, kudos to you. I don't give a flying fuck what you do at home, but when it affects me in the workplace, you need to fix it.

The story:
So, I walk into the bathroom at work to pee. All stalls but the last one are in use. I walk to the last one. What do I find, nasty dried period blood on the seat. Really? What the hell is that shit? 1) How does that even happen? How is it that you are wiping your twat all over the seat? It's making me re-think not using the flushable toilet seat cover. 2) In the event it does happen, how do you not notice it when you turn around to flush? 3) Really, I mean REALLY? That's effing gross!

Have a little respect people, clean up your bodily fluids if they leak on things that they aren't supposed to be on and other people have to use. You can leak on and rub all over whatever you want at home, but when you come to a public place, clean up after yourself!

Quit your bitching, I'm sick of listening to you.

Seriously, shut up.
No one wants to listen to you whine about how this department isn't doing this, and that department isn't doing something else. Lets re-evaluate yourself.... I'm just saying, your not perfect, so because 1 note was not put in the system, doesn't mean that a whole department is horrible.
Get over yourself.

Wow! This is funny shit.

So, you all need to check out Antoine Dodson on www.youtube.com. First watch the real interview, then watch the remix... It's great!

Strippers Fight Back!

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100809/NEWS/308090075/0/NEWS0108/Strippers-protest-at-church

Ok, so this is awesome! People from a church have been protesting agaisnt a strip club. In response, the Strippers and the owner of the club are picketting at the church.

They both have the right to protest, whatever. Go Strippers! Why can't people live and let live. You don't have to agree with every single thing your neighbor does, but that doesn't mean you have to harrass him either. (I'm just talking about every day things, no illeagal stuff)

The church go-ers have been video taping customers coming and leaving the nightclub, and getting their liscence plate numbers. How about this, instead of harrassing people that are doing nothing to you, why don't you go raise money for orphans or cancer, or something that actually matters?

Awww man!

I just made the miskate of looking at the label to my Cheetos.... Puff taste so much better before you know how horrid they are for you.... It still did not stop me from finishing off the bag though.... Too good to waste. Besides, it's Monday, and this Monday happens to SUCK. I'm entitled my yummy cheese snacks.

Walcreature Cont...

So, I haven't posted a WalCreature lately, but I feel that it's about time.

I mean I know I get up in the morning and think to myself, how could I get my picture online if I went to Walmart today? Really people? Come on... get a mirror, or a reality check. I'm not sure which one. People who design some of these clothes should be shot as well!

So this speciman, well, I'll just describe the clothing:

Red shirt with eyelets around the sleeves and collar. (Nothing I would wear, but with jeans, it would look acceptable depending on your age, but said person is not old enough to be wearing that shirt)

Pants, well capris actually. They are black, but I'm not stopping at just black. They have a pattern. Still patterns are ok right? Well, not this pattern. It has beach balls, and folding chairs and tables all over. I'm not even sure where you can buy such horrid patterend capris.

I haven't paid attention to the shoes, but my guess is either white old lady sanals, or white keds with socks pulled up almost, if not past, the bottom of the capris, stay tuned for a shoe update.

A little grooming please!

Ok you know what grosses me out.... Hair, on a toilet seat. I mean really is it that hard to groom. That's all I'm saying. If you are that big of a mess down there, at least be considerate and look to see if you left any stragglers behind. I mean I'm gagging whilst typing about it. Come on people! It's not that hard. Razor, scissors, wax, clippers, etc... Do something please.... It's effing gross!

How can you forget that much in a2 days? I mean really?

Ok, so I have 2 bins on my desk. One if for things that need to be signed, on is for file that need to be disassembled. They have been the same since before I had this position. There is also a bin on the top of my filing cabinet for stuff that needs to be filed (also has been there since before me). So I had a HUGE stack of files in my 'need to be disassembled' bin. I start working on them. I get almost all the way through them, and guess what, they needed to be filed, not disassempled. So when I ask why they were in that bin.... The reply I got was 'Oh, I forgot'. How is that possible, you were up here two days ago... How do you forget something that you've been doing for 4 months in two days? I don't get it! SO after taking a half an hour to break down my ginormous stack of files, I get to put them all back together, and file them....

Lucky Me.