We are getting there. Why can't people be logical?

Well, things are FINALLY moving forward. Does that concern me, yes, at times, but long run, I cannot wait for the future. Paperwork is in process, and the ball is starting to roll. That's all I'm saying about that.

Side note; I've decided that my issue with a lot of people is the way they think. Yeah, yeah, I know that sounds bad, but hear me out, I'm not hating, I just don't understand. People let their emotions get the best of them most of the time. I am not saying that I have never let mine get to me, it happens, I'm not an ice queen. That being said, I'm very logical and regardless of emotions, like to find the easiest solution. This has become ever more apparent to me given my current situation. Logically, me helping, makes sense. Emotionally, I can't really even relate. I just want to help, so I have a hard time processing why this is an issue. That is my observation of the day.

A Letter to His Ex, the Mother of His Child

Dear A,

Although I’m not sure how to start this, I have a lot to say. First and foremost, I am not trying to take over your roll as mother. That was never and still is not my intent. I want to be someone that she trusts and loves, because I love her, and I absolutely treat her as my own when she’s with us, but that’s not a dig at you. That’s because I love and respect that little girl so much, that it would be wrong to treat her as an outsider. I want you to be assured, that I will never ask her to call me anything but my name, because that is not my place, you are her mom, and I completely understand that. I want you to know that I have never, and will continue to never say a bad thing about you or in regards to you in front of her.

I don’t understand where your hatred of me comes from. Personally, I was ecstatic when my son’s father found someone who treats my son like her own, who when I can’t get off early and run him to practice, she is more than willing to, when his dad and I both work, guess what, he stays with his soon to be step-mom. Those little gestures, that I too am all too willing to do for your daughter. I get that we are two very different people, and that may be where it stems from, I’m not here to make anything difficult, I want things to be easier. You have been nothing but mean, nasty, and rude to me since the day you found out about me. I have never retaliated and even when faced with blatant disrespect, I have not said a word to you good, bad, or indifferent. I’ve not bashed you on social media, I’ve not sent you nasty messages, I’ve not done a thing to make you hate me other than loving your ex, and loving your daughter. Regardless of how our (you and I) relationship turns out, and I pray that it does get better, the treatment of your daughter will not change. It breaks my heart that she has to go through all of this and that with maybe one, level, conversation, a lot of it could be easily resolved. I’ve thought many times about reaching out, but was never sure of my reception and don’t want to make things even worse than they already are. When you are willing to step out of your comfort zone, and have an actual conversation with me, I hope you see that I’m not this monster that you made up in your head. I’m a good person who has nothing but the best intentions for your daughter. You would see that I absolutely care, and am willing to help out. Until that day, if it ever comes, I wish you the best, and pray that one day, we can get along.

Sincerely,
M

Back in the swing of things and baby mama drama...

So, ok, yes, I had a thing going, and I think, or I heard, I was kind of funny. Absolutely trying to get back in the swing of that, but that being said, due to not having quite the amount of frustrations that brought out that initial snarky vampire in me, I’m attempting to find some balance, so bear with me, I really am trying, but for now, on to some real shit!

Side note: WHOEVER GAVE MY NUMBER FOR CONTACT ABOUT A 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT CAN GO KICK ROCKS, CAUSE THAT IS ANNOYING. IF I OWNED AN APARTMENT, I WOULDN’T BE PAYING RENT ON ONE…

The mini me and myself, are doing quite well. He’s growing hair in place I don’t really want to know about, but at the same time should probably know… hell, I don’t know, this is new territory for me. He has taken a chip of the snarky block, and is so good sometimes, I don’t know if he’s being serious or not…. Dry sense of humor aside (no clue where he got that from…. ) the kid is brilliant and thriving.

I have been put in the situation, that so many now a days have, and although marriage is definitely in the future, there is no ring and no time frame currently for this, and that is totally ok. So technically not a ‘step-parent’ but essentially living that role. This is not a bashing the baby mama post, just to preface, that’s not my intent, and although her and I do not see eye to eye (aka she hates me), and it would be oh so easy to rant, that my friends, will solve zero of my problems. I personally, have been in said situation with my own child, and can do nothing but commend his father’s girlfriend. When I can’t get off work to take him to practice, if she can help, she does (just one of many examples, this chick is great). She cares about him, and his wellbeing, and from what I see, treats him as her own when they are together, and I personally think that is great. All one can ask for as a parent, is for positive influences on their children, and you will never hear me say a bad word about her. Much respect to her.

So in having this excellent example in my life that I truly appreciate, I now have the complete opposite of the spectrum with my boyfriend’s ex-wife and mother of his daughter, and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do. I in no way shape or form caused them to be separated, split, divorce (the list of words goes on and on, where is my thesaurus at???) Just wanted to get that out of the way, because had I been the cause, I could see how she could hate me. ALAS, I did not come in the picture until after it was decided that they were not getting back together. There has been a slew of things said and done to or about me, that for a lot of people, would be unforgiveable, and I get that, but in all honesty, all I want is to get along. I don’t want to replace this woman as a mother, I just want to be another adult in her daughter’s life that she can look up to and she knows loves her. I would be willing, at any point in time, to forgive, literally everything from the past, and move forward, for her daughter’s sake. I also know, that unless she wants to, that is not an option, and unfortunately, I worry, that it may never be an option. It breaks my heart, because coming from a family where after divorce, no one got along until I was far into my adult years (because me at the ripe old age of 32 is very old, lol) and it was very hard. I know there is a long road, and I truly hope for the best. To all you step parents, and people who’ve stepped in, or stepped up, thank you. For all the parents out there that have realized, hey the step(mom/dad) really just cares and wants the best, thank you. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child… I just hope my future village will learn some acceptance.

What was my issue with cuddling????

Ok ok ok... I know I was a little harsh on the cuddlers, BUT in my defense, they were coming at me from all angles and wanted some very extreme cuddling. Now, I will cuddle all day every day with the man I currently call my boyfriend, and will someday eventually be attached to with a ring FOREVER, yup I said it, forever. (no I'm not being crazy, it's been discussed) I am a selective cuddler I suppose. If you aren't' on my level, sorry. I'll never need any other cuddler again anyway. One cuddler woman up in here.

I once again, haven't been on here in forever. A lot has happened, and as much as I wanted to make this a funny post... I just don't think that I can today. The snark is not flowing strong today, but don't you worry, it will be back, oh yes, it will be.

So might as well do an update, then we'll go on full snark starting, hopefully tomorrow.

Boyfriend status: I found the one, and we are going on 1 year and 2 months. I couldn't be happier with him, and I truly can't wait for the future, because if we can make it through the shit storm I call 2017, then we'll be just fine.

Work Status: I honestly have no idea what job I was at the last time I wrote.... I may have been where I'm at, maybe not... either way, I'm ridiculously bored, and working on fixing that.

On a serious note, I think the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen, is when one of the strongest people you know, breaks down, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix it. All I want to do is fix this issue, and there is nothing I can do but be supportive. Being helpless is not a good feeling.

To Cuddle or Not To Cuddle....

Suitors, suitors on the… wall(?), whose the least weird of you all….???



So, I feel like I took the Twilight Zone bus, and it dumped me out in Cuddlesville(or does Cuddle Town sound better…. Either way, it’s the same point to make).



Here lately, there has been an overwhelming push to cuddle… Now, I’ll be there first to admit, I’m not a cuddle-whore. Would I like a cuddle every once in a while, sure, but I don’t feel the need to profess that and or push that on anyone. Every man, well, almost every man, vying for my attention lately just can’t seem to refrain from telling me how bad he wants to cuddle with me. Sorry boys, not always my thing. That is not the way to win my heart, or any other part of me. Not to mention, when you phrase it to me and talk like a little kid when you ask, I want to cringe. It literally takes every ounce of control I have, not to cringe or make a face. (Yes, it’s that bad, and happens that often).



Now from what I gather, this is happening for one of two reasons:



Reason # 1:

You guys seem to think to think that it’s what us girls want to hear. Now I am not speaking for all girls. I’m just speaking from my experiences and talks with acquaintances, but we do not all have an overwhelming need to cuddle 24/7. Not to say we never ever want to be touched, but if you bring up cuddling EVERY time we talk, that’s a definite turn OFF (for me at least, so STOP IT).



Reason #2:

Maybe you legitimately like cuddling. To each their own I say, but also make sure you and your potential and or current cuddler in crime are on the same page. Because coming from something where we were not both on the same page left me feeling highly irritable and possible with hurt feelings. Unintentional repercussions for both parties involved.







Basically don’t assume anything.

Changes, Oh So Many...

New job (well, new as of 5 months ago)...
Men??? Oh the stories I can tell....
Life in general, yea... it's going.

I haven't posted in a while, but I think I may finally be able to inject some more snark into the lives of many, or the 3 people who actually read this blog.

A lot has happened in the time I stopped posting. Good, bad, and indifferent. Some I will touch on, some isn't worth it. I have found I have horrid taste in men for the most part, although I've branched out lately, and I am grateful for one in particular for that. More to come!

Mouth Breathing... Make it stop!

Sooo.. I’ve been out for a while, living life, watching movies, getting my heart broken(not recently), and all the random stuff in-between, but today, between a phone call and someone walking by me, I decided it was time to post again… I rise from my ashes to …. you got it, rant again! Somethings I know irritate me, and if I can avoid them, I do. This is something that is out of my control, and COMPLETELY unavoidable at times. It all started this morning when I had to call another department about something. (The something really is not relavent in the least bit, so we’ll skip that part.) I digress… The person who answered, I know well, and also have learned to absolutely dread talking to whether that be in person, or on the phone due to multiple things but the most prominent one is, I can hear this person breathing. I should not be able to hear you breathing during normal conversation. Now at the gym, on the treadmill, when one is exerting oneself, I don’t have an issue with that. On the other hand, if you are chilling at your desk, and haven’t moved in hours(thinking this could be part of the issue, hmmmm?), you should not have labored breathing… EVER. On top of that, don’t be bragging about your workouts and scarring me for life with trying to tell me about you going to the tanning bed, when we all know, you aren’t really working out, AND the thought of you in a tanning bed sweating and breathing heavy whilst laying there… it’s down right disturbing!!!! Please stop over-sharing, please! I beg of you!

Best Auto Correct fail to date....

I was reading Thebloggess.com and her post about her phone changing jazz to jizz. Here is the text I sent to my sister when I was done reading it....

Mistakes were made, good quote

Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another.  You choose to let go if a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it.  Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk.  It's your move. ~anonymous author

Apple Pie and Shit Part Duex...

So, now out of 4 stalls in the bathroom,  there is a different scented aerosol spray in each stall plus the automatic scent dispenser and Lysol. This plethora of smells can be sensed all the way down the hallway ... it's a little much. Like migraine and vomit inducing.

Apple Pie and Shit?

Who on Earth decided that bathroom spray should be scented like food? The last thing I want to smell is food plus poo. I get bodily functions smell sometimes,  on that note,  that doesn't mean that you try to cover the smell with a food scent. That just makes me think of poo while eating, disgusting ....

The Bloggess

Everyone needs to go buy The Bloggess book NOW. I have never laughed so much while reading ever, unless you count reading her blog, which you should totally do too!  Http://www.thebloggess.com

You are not my father.... just weird.

So weird chick I work with ... has been wearing a mask because they are rearranging the office and kicking up dust.  Who does that,  you sound like Darth Vader's retarded sister between the heavy breathing and the laugh, I'm really not sure how much more I can take. Plus I can't understand anything you are saying because of the damn mask. It is quite amusing when you take it off due to the huge elastic lines dug into your face.