Best Auto Correct fail to date....

I was reading Thebloggess.com and her post about her phone changing jazz to jizz. Here is the text I sent to my sister when I was done reading it....

Phone Cords

I'm sure everyone knows what a normal office phone looks like. Black, bunch of buttons, hold, voicemail, blah blah blah, about 1.5-2ft cord. Well, my cord is the same cord I've had for 3 years now. Looks brand new. The chick behind me, I can't say that it is or isn't the original cord, but she has it sooooo twisted that she had to pull the phone away form where it sits up to her chin so she can talk on it. I just fixed it for her 2 days ago and it's already jacked up again. Anyway, how does that even happen? I mean a twist now and then, I get that, but I mean it's so twisted, I had to pull it apart... I don't get it. The fact that she is a total spaz, makes it even funnier to watch her answer her phone, with the whole thing coming up to her chin so she has to lean down to talk... Oh if I could only get a pic...

My list of 10 for the day...

1) Why is this week dragging?
2) Why do people insist on wearing clothes that make their horrid body shape look even worse? I don't get it. I'm no fashion icon, or fashion police, but DAMN.
3) Whoever designed the system we use at work is mentally retarded. Can I say inefficient?
4) Can someone just give me an extened release caffiene pill? Then I could give up pop, loose weight, and not go through caffiene withdrawls.
5) I want the following bumper sticker: If your going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.
6) I want a truck. A 2500 Cummins Turbo Diesel.
7) How come no one can tell when I don't like them. I try to be mean, but it never seems to work. I need bitch lessons.
8) When will Norman Reedus discover me and wisk me away to his dreamy abode?
9) I NEED new ink. I must have it.
10) I am random. If you don't like it, you should have stopped at #1.

WalCreature Contd....

She is wearing a regular t-shirt with some religous stuff on it. I would guess it's a large or an extra large. It is paired with 1980's super high waisted jeans, you know the kind that come right below your boobs, so you don't really need a bra. The extra large t-shirt is tucked into the super high waisted pants. Did I mention the pants aren't long enough, so they hang, while standing, at just above the ankle. She has white ked-like shoes, with white socks, once again pulled way past the bottom of the pants. I'm at a loss for words. Maybe, "Hey, 1983 called, and they want their clothes back!". I'm not even sure if that would be right, I don't even think people in the 80's would wear what she's wearing, and that's bad, because lets face it, the 80's was a HORRIBLE decade in fashion.

Good Morning Pic Msg

So, the first text/pic messege I get this morning is from my sister. Already I'm intrigued. The pic was of a sign at a company that was advertising PINE SHAVINGS FOR $6.99. Some trickster changed the sign to say PENIS SHAVINGS $69. Genius!!!!

WalCreature cont...

So, some clothes just weren't meant for heavy people to wear. You know the shirts with the belts that go around the middle? Well, that is one thing that only non-fat people can wear.
Example: Some girl is wear a gray, sleeveless turtle-neck type shirt with a black belt around the middle. All in all, not a bad shirt/belt combo. The big kicker is... If the belt rests on your belly, maybe you shouldn't wear it... Just throwing that out there...

WalCreature, Cont...

I haven't posted a WalCreature here lately, so heres a small dose. It's not the best I've seen but still.

White shirt(nothing too exciting there).
Blue and white checked capris (It looks like you are ready to have a picnic on your ass. Whose bringing the basket?)
White ked-like shoes with super high white socks....
Really? I mean come on!

Wow! This is funny shit.

So, you all need to check out Antoine Dodson on www.youtube.com. First watch the real interview, then watch the remix... It's great!

I'm Back....

Sooooooo.... I was on 'vacation' for a week, and work has been crazy, but I'm back now. Just in time for the weekend, the weekend I get the joy of working... Woooo Hoooo. I'm so excited!

Anywho, so the week I was off, not that eventfull.... Some amusement park, fireworks, midnight showing of Eclipse. That's it....

Now that I'm back, the person that took me 2 month to become accustomed to, and learn to ignore, I now can't stand again. I really hope it doesn't take another two months to re-do this! I just can't take it! The weird laughing at inappropriate times, the random fashion sense, the high waters, the fro... I just don't know man, I just don't know!

On another random thought, I want a pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes. They are BAMF!

How can you not laugh at this?

So, first there was all the people whining when we got our annual dress code policy e-mail, (the dress code has been the same for at least 3 years). Why are people upset that they are enforcing it. You knew what it was, you chose not to follow it, there for you suffer the consequinces. Now there is a he said, she said thing going around, so an e-mail went to the whole office with names in it. So then there was a rebuke to the e-mail from one of the people named in it. Basically, now we are breaking dress code and e-mail policies? I just want to get this strait, which policy is next? lol, aww man, I love the unprofessionalism of this place, it's great!

WalCreature Cont....

So I would love to find out where some of these people shop.

Offense: Flower print capris, (multiple pairs of the same print against white, the print color is varying) With a shirt that matches the color of the print. Same outfit two days in a row, just different colors. I'm not sure where you buy outfits that awsomely bad. Well, if you were like 70, they would be perfectly acceptable for you retirement in Florida, but your in your 40's in Ohio.

Offense: Apparently I missed the memo for Abhorently Ugly Skirt Day (AUSD). I'm not talking 1 or 2, it seems that half the office is wearing extrememly ugly skirts.