Monday, October 23, 2017

Back in the swing of things and baby mama drama...

So, ok, yes, I had a thing going, and I think, or I heard, I was kind of funny. Absolutely trying to get back in the swing of that, but that being said, due to not having quite the amount of frustrations that brought out that initial snarky vampire in me, I’m attempting to find some balance, so bear with me, I really am trying, but for now, on to some real shit!

Side note: WHOEVER GAVE MY NUMBER FOR CONTACT ABOUT A 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT CAN GO KICK ROCKS, CAUSE THAT IS ANNOYING. IF I OWNED AN APARTMENT, I WOULDN’T BE PAYING RENT ON ONE…

The mini me and myself, are doing quite well. He’s growing hair in place I don’t really want to know about, but at the same time should probably know… hell, I don’t know, this is new territory for me. He has taken a chip of the snarky block, and is so good sometimes, I don’t know if he’s being serious or not…. Dry sense of humor aside (no clue where he got that from…. ) the kid is brilliant and thriving.

I have been put in the situation, that so many now a days have, and although marriage is definitely in the future, there is no ring and no time frame currently for this, and that is totally ok. So technically not a ‘step-parent’ but essentially living that role. This is not a bashing the baby mama post, just to preface, that’s not my intent, and although her and I do not see eye to eye (aka she hates me), and it would be oh so easy to rant, that my friends, will solve zero of my problems. I personally, have been in said situation with my own child, and can do nothing but commend his father’s girlfriend. When I can’t get off work to take him to practice, if she can help, she does (just one of many examples, this chick is great). She cares about him, and his wellbeing, and from what I see, treats him as her own when they are together, and I personally think that is great. All one can ask for as a parent, is for positive influences on their children, and you will never hear me say a bad word about her. Much respect to her.

So in having this excellent example in my life that I truly appreciate, I now have the complete opposite of the spectrum with my boyfriend’s ex-wife and mother of his daughter, and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do. I in no way shape or form caused them to be separated, split, divorce (the list of words goes on and on, where is my thesaurus at???) Just wanted to get that out of the way, because had I been the cause, I could see how she could hate me. ALAS, I did not come in the picture until after it was decided that they were not getting back together. There has been a slew of things said and done to or about me, that for a lot of people, would be unforgiveable, and I get that, but in all honesty, all I want is to get along. I don’t want to replace this woman as a mother, I just want to be another adult in her daughter’s life that she can look up to and she knows loves her. I would be willing, at any point in time, to forgive, literally everything from the past, and move forward, for her daughter’s sake. I also know, that unless she wants to, that is not an option, and unfortunately, I worry, that it may never be an option. It breaks my heart, because coming from a family where after divorce, no one got along until I was far into my adult years (because me at the ripe old age of 32 is very old, lol) and it was very hard. I know there is a long road, and I truly hope for the best. To all you step parents, and people who’ve stepped in, or stepped up, thank you. For all the parents out there that have realized, hey the step(mom/dad) really just cares and wants the best, thank you. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child… I just hope my future village will learn some acceptance.

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